Last week was an honest to goodness struggle. Hardest since I’ve started on this journey. For reasons unknown a cloud of doubt descended and made itself welcome in my space.

For the entire week I was sure I had made a mistake coming here, doing this. A sense of dread followed me around making a mockery of my every move. Failure loomed on the periphery while fear whispered all the while, ‘I told you so.’

I who have always felt like a stranger in my own home, suddenly longed for the comfort of the familiar. And I can’t quite explain to you what that turmoil and ambiguity feels like.

For the entire week there were no posts or stories. I had to retreat and write my way through it; think my way through it; feel my way through it.

When you make a decision to take the road less traveled they tell you it will be lonely. But no one tells you just how lonely. No one tells you sometimes the rainbows and butterflies subside, making way for doubt and fear; that sometimes the cheers of the squad fade away in the face of self-doubt.

This week has been better. I have re-centered and I am all the more convinced, right here is where I’m meant to be right now. I just need to be patient, trust the process, and move through the fear. I deserve every good thing that is making its way toward me.

Do you ever feel stuck? Like it’s all going to hell in a handbasket?
Note to self (and note to you, dear friend): This too shall pass. It ALWAYS passes. Find your why and keep pushing through. You’ve got this! 😉

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This post is part of the Insta-Losophies series – a curation of my more verbose Instagram posts. I wanted a record of them in case Instagram decides to cop out on us. Plus, they kinda read like bog posts so I thought, why the hell not?

 

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